EXCERPT: Elizabeth Ashbridge (2) (Posted by Carolina Arana)

"...and from that time for several months I was in utmost Despair, and if any time I would endeavour to hope or lay hold of any Gracious promise, the old Accuser would Come in, telling me, it was now too Late, I had withstood the day of Mercy till it was over, & that I should add to my Sins by praying for Pardon & provoke Divine Vengeance to make a Monument of Wrath of me. I was like one already in torment; my Sleep Departed from me, I Eat little, I became extremely melancholy, and took no delight in any thing. Had all the world been mine & the Glory of it, I would now have Gladly a given it for one glimpse of hope; My husband was Shock'd, to See me so changed, I that once Could divert him with a Song (in which he greatly delighted), nay after I grew Religious as to the outward, could now Do it no longer. My Singing now was turned into mourning & my Dancing into Lamentations: my Nights and Days were one Continual Scene of Sorrows: I let none know my Desperate Condition - My husband used all means in his power to divert my Melancholy, but in vain, the wound was too Deep to be healed with any thing short of the true Balm of Gilead. I Durst not go much alone for fear of Evil Spirits, but when I did my husband would not suffer it, & if I took the Bible, he would take it from me saying, 'how you are altered, you used to be agreeable Company but now I have no Comfort of you.'I endeavoured to bear all with Patience, expecting soon to bear more than man could inflict upon me" (156-157).

Source: Ashbridge, Elizabeth. "Some Account of the Fore Part of the Life of Elizabeth Ashbridge." Journeys in New Worlds: Early American Women's Narratives. Ed. William L. Andrews, Sargent Bush, Jr., Annette Kolodny, Amy Schrager Lang, and Daniel B. Shea. Madison, WI: The University of Wisconsin Press, 1990.

EXCERPT: Elizabeth Ashbridge (1) (Posted by Novi Peroldo)

"...Here [my husband] took me to a Tavern where I soon became the Spectacle & discourse of the Company. My Husband told them, "my wife is a Quaker," & that he Designed if Possible to find out some Place where there was none. "O," thought I, "I was once in a Condition deserving that name, but now it is over with me. O! that I might from a true hope once more have an Opportunity to Confess to the truth;" tho' I was Sure of Suffering all manner of Crueltys, I would not Regard it.

These were my Concerns while he was Entertaining the Company with my Story, in which he told them that I had been a good Dancer, but now he Could get me niether to Dance nor Sing, upon whiche one of the Company stands up saying, "I'll go fetch my Fiddle, & we'll have a Dance," at which my husband was much pleased. The fiddle came, the sight of which put me in a sad Condition for fear if I Refused my husband would be in a great Passion: however I took up this resolution, not Comply whatever be the Consequence. He comes to me, takes me by the hand saying, "come my Dear, shake off that Gloom, & let's have a civil Dance; you would now and then when you was a good Churchwoman, & thats better than a Stiff Quaker." I trembling desired to be Excused; but he Insisted on it, and knowing his Temper to be exceeding Cholerick, durst not say much, yet did not Consent. He then pluck'd me round the Room till Tears affected my Eyes, at Sight, whereof the Musician Stopt and said, "I'll play no more, Let your wife alone," of which I was Glad" (162).

Source: Ashbridge, Elizabeth. "Some Account of the Fore Part of the Life of Elizabeth Ashbridge...". Journeys in New Worlds: Early American Women's Narratives. Ed. William L. Andrews, Sargent Bush, Jr., Annette Kolodny, Amy Schrager Lang, and Daniel B. Shea. Madison, WI: The University of Wisconsin Press, 1990.